Personality/Appearance

[salaciousbunny]

CW: Abuse

Adriel presents himself as a very happy-go-lucky guy despite the past that he keeps so closely guarded. He doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s really gone through and almost always shuts down any time he’s asked. He tries to keep from giving anyone an excuse to ask about his past. The truth about his past is truly horrifying, in his mind, and disgusting; however, it shaped him greatly, the abuse and neglect from his family, the anger of his lovers. He would do anything to feel loved and stick by any man who said those words just for the sake of being loved. He allows himself to be easily persuaded, willing to try believe that someone’s changed, willing to try believe that someone isn’t as bad as they seem, that ‘sorry’ really means ‘I won’t do it again,’ despite his history telling him otherwise. When they’ve not changed, he’s not surprised, though. He wants nothing more than to be accepted and loved for who he is. He doesn’t want to be changed, though men have tried—and in some cases, succeeded—to change him.

He doesn’t judge people and loves to laugh at their jokes. Sometimes, he laughs at things that aren’t really that funny, just to have a reason to laugh. His belief is that if he doesn’t laugh, he’ll cry, and there’s no need to be crying over something that is in the past.

He’s fiercely loyal to his lover—whomever that may be, no matter how he treats him—his sister, and any good friends he has. He’s also very protective of children.

Adriel has absolutely terrible self-esteem as a result of constant bullying and beating, and no matter how much he wants to believe that the men love him--even when those words are spoken--he doesn’t believe he’s worthy of their love. He is somewhat possessive of his lover. He doesn’t control his lovers or get overly jealous over little things, but he does often wonder, if his lover spends a lot of time with someone else, if he’s cheating on him. It’s happened before. Deep down, no matter how much he wants to believe otherwise, he believes that all men who date him will hurt him, eventually. He blames himself, thinks that it is because he ‘broke’ them, destroyed the relationship.

If someone is too abusive of Adriel, he gets sick of it. Despite the fact that he has low self-esteem, he doesn’t roll over and take it forever. He has a terrible temper and will fight back when he gets tired of it. It’s more a reaction to the abuse than a defense of himself. He fought almost constantly with most of his exes, trying to be treated better, fighting them the way he could not fight his mother in the past. He had put some people in the hospital during his high school years because they went too far in the bullying of him or one of his close friends. Adriel is—deep down, though he tries desperately not to be—a violent, spiteful person. He acts naïve and hopes that things will get better, but he’s not above striking out at someone just because they made him feel bad. However, he is afraid of his temper, afraid to get angry, because of the damage he’d caused. He likes to pretend that he isn’t capable of it, even though he knows well that he would be able to kill someone if angry enough. It takes quite a bit to get him to that point, usually a period of severe abuse, and when it gets to be too much, he blows.

Adriel loves to dress provocatively, and depending on his mood, he likes his short shirts, half-unbuttoned dress shirts or flannels, ball-threateningly tight pants, and when he is in the mood to dress as a woman, he wears low, ruffly shirts to hide the fact that he has no breasts, and short skirts. He’s very confident in his body and uses it to attract attention.

Adriel will sleep with any male he deems attractive. He still absolutely loves sex, despite how his boyfriends had treated him, and sees it as a means to an end: not waking up cold and alone in the mornings. To him, the benefits outweigh the negatives and the bad memories.

If one met him on the street, the impression could range from “hipster” to “remarkably gay” with a dabbling of “prostitute.”

His mannerisms are somewhat on the feminine side, but he identifies completely as male. His forays into cross-dressing (which are almost non-existent at this point in his life) are mainly for the fact that he likes dressing in women’s clothing, and when he dresses as a woman, it is for the chance to escape his life for a while and pretend that he is someone else. Adriel is somewhat of an escapist, but because he hides his crossdressing, he rarely gets the chance to dress as a woman anymore.


Appearance: Adriel has shoulder-length, curly red hair, and brown eyes. He has freckles all over his face, shoulders, neck, pretty much anywhere the sun touches during the summer. He is rather short for a guy, only five foot four inches tall, which irks him a little bit. His body is slender, yet toned, as he does do a lot of swimming and running in his free time. He is somewhat androgynous and can pass as a very pretty woman when he cross-dresses, which he does on occasion.